Birthday tears and a full moon

Sigh.

Birthday's shouldn't involve tears.

My parents both came down to go out to dinner with tonight. We went to Riyhad's - a cheap but great Lebanese restaurant in my neighborhood. Everyone was cordial and got along better than the last time we tried to go out to dinner together several months ago. However, it was still slightly uncomfortable. I'm not able to articulate well quite what felt off tonight ... I don't know if it was my parents, me or my reaction to them. Probably a combination of all three.

My chest feels tight thinking about the pain my parents are going through. Tight enough to need release through a few tears.

Since Julie is still biking through South America currently, Mom got one of her old drawings framed for me. It is based on a picture I took years ago at the Port Townsend farmer's market. I remember this school group of kids playing music with lots of people dancing. Such joy. I pulled out my photo albums (yes in the days before digital cameras) to find the oringal picture. I haven't looked at any of my pictures for quite some time. I found pictures of my parents dog, Compton, when he was just a tiny puppy - what a terror. Pictures that evoked happy memories but also sadness thinking about the past and how things have changed. What is the saying? the only thing that is constant is change ... A relative wrote in a card about only being able to claim to be 29 once. :-)

I'm grateful to be alive. Thankful to have loving parents and friends. Thankful to have a close friend who shares the same birthday. Thankful for a birthday full moon.